Poltergeist Activity Explained?

'They're here': The mechanism of poltergeist activity - fundamentals - 01 April 2008 - New Scientist

Best line:

We contacted Brian Josephson, a Nobel laureate physicist who is on the editorial board of Neuroquantology.

"This looks distinctly flaky to me," Josephson commented.

Freaking Brilliant!

Wooster Collective: Street Art At Its Best #3: Plastic Bag Animals

I wish we had a subway around here.

Cool Picture of the Day Observation

It kind of looks like Malcolm X is watching Pres. Bush from that window.

I'm very tired.

Cool Picture of the Day #2

Cool Picture of the Day

It's Over At Last...

Well, that was fun.

Zombie marathons are something I should do more often. But maybe not for a week and a half at a time, though. I'm exhausted. It'll be nice to just sit and not watch a movie tonight.

Although, we've already begun planning a special night's double feature to celebrate the birthdays of Peter Cushing (May 26) and Christopher Lee (May 27). Since we just watched Horror Express, that's out, so we need to find a couple of good movies with the dynamic duo in them. Preferably things we haven't seen before.

I'm pretty sure this means a Hammer Horror night.

The search is on!

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Marathon Grand Finale!!

Les Revenants / They Came Back (2004)

It's French. Do I need to say more?

Okay.

It's French and intellectual. But seriously. This was pretty good, even if there was no brain munching. Essentially, everyone who's died over the past 10 years just suddenly came walking out of the cemeteries where they were buried. No decay or strange hungers; just absent stares and an urge to go walking around at night, meet up with other previously dead folks, and mumble to each other. It's kind of like suddenly having millions of autistic people suddenly wanting back into your life after you've gotten over the whole grieving process and moved on with your life.

There were quite a few genuinely creepy moments, and a few just plain odd ones. It's well worth a viewing, especially if you have some wine and cheese to accompany the creeping ennui.

Out! Out Damn Nipple!

I was just mentioning something like this to The Girlfriend the other day at the store. I was wondering if magazines could show topless ladies on their covers without fear if the nipples were airbrushed away.

Looks like some places even get rid of mens' nipples.

Cool

Someone at Marvel knows my name.

Secret Invasion is Coming

This is actually looking pretty interesting.

Splatterday

Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love (2003)

Well, that was cute. Another very short (78 minutes or so) Canadian zombie flick bites the dust. This one, however, was actually worth a look. It wasn't great, don't get me wrong, but the writer/director, Elza Kephart (the only woman filmmaker on the list), was actually able to frame her shots, use dramatic lighting, and generally make the film look a lot more expensive than it probably was.

She also stuck to black and white film, which was a seriously good idea. Not only did it allow for easier multiple use of redressed sets to save money, they were able to get away with cheaper effects.

This is the story of a lonely, nerdy nurse who falls in love with a sick woodsman. The woodsman has a strange disease that causes him to decay, stink, and really want to get laid. He caught it by being bitten by some small creature he found inside a tree he'd cut down. We never see the creature, but it sounded cute.

Anyway, the janitor of the hospital knows all about zombies, so he takes care of zombie woodsman; but not before he nips Nurse Patsy's finger. Then, as you may have guessed, Nurse Patsy goes from nerdy to sexy. Well, nerdy-sexy, I guess. All the guys want her, but she has her unbeating heart set on the engaged Doctor Dox. Romantic troubles ensue, along with flesh-eating troubles.

This really wasn't bad for a very low-budget film. I mean, the performances weren't great, and the script was pretty simple and avoided a lot of dialogue. There were quite a few parts of this that felt like a silent film. But then someone would say something silly, awkwardly, and the spell would be broken. But it looked very good.

And it kicked the crap out of Enter... Zombie King, that's for sure. Somehow. I'm still kind of confused about how a Zombie Nurse in Love beats out Mexican Wrestlers Fighting Zombies. It's a world gone all topsy-turvy.

Festering Friday

Enter. . . Zombie King! / Zombie Beach Party (2003)

You would think that a film made in Canada about Mexican Wrestlers fighting zombies could be entertaining for at least part of its 75 minute runtime. But in fact, that is not the case.

Even with the smattering of boobies and scantily-clad ladies throughout, this film was about as lifeless as, um, well, you know.

I really don't understand how this couldn't be something I could recommend. It has everything and it's not even very long. But that was one long hour and fifteen minutes, let me tell you.

The script has good bones, I'll give it that. The idea here is that Ulysses, the all-American hero, has been driving cross-country to visit friends. Although the film is set in California (I think), it was filmed in Canada and there's snow everywhere. This is played off as some sort of possibly apocalyptic event, where the weather is unpredictable and crazy with 80 degree temperatures but snow! I liked the idea, but it doesn't actually have anything to do with the plot (what there is of a plot). It's just a throwaway excuse for having snow everywere.

Anyway, Ulysses' rival, Tiki, is traveling around wrestling zombies for money. What people don't realize though, is that Tiki's zombies are domesticated and really aren't dangerous. So when there is an actual zombie killing, Tiki's zombies get blamed, so Tiki goes off to find out who's behind it. Blue Saint, the brother of Ulysses' "girlfriend' Mercedes, goes off half-cocked to find Tiki, who he thinks killed his father years earlier.

Needless to say, they all meet up and make peace, so they can fight the real enemy... Zombie King! He also used to be Ulysses' partner I think. I had to go pee during that part and really didn't see the need to pause the film.

Zombie mayhem ensues, enhanced by liberal flashes of boobs and the occasional rockabilly song. Everything happens just like you imagine it would, only a lot more amateurishly and with worse acting and direction.

Surely it's not that expensive to borrow a Mac and some editing software and at least try to make your film look interesting. Just some flashy dissolves and playing around with the color correction could have livened it up a bit. They should have used all that money they spent on cheap special effects, because that was sure wasted. I mean, look at that poster. If half as much creativity went into the filming as went into the poster, this would be a classic.

Although it pains me, I have to rank this one on par with the Piece of Shit That Shall Not Be Named. This wasn't as offensively stupid and did have some good ideas and a couple of funny moments, but PoSTSNBN had a lot more gore. It's a trade-off. If I had to sit through one of them again, though, it would be Enter... Zombie King.

Tribulation Thursday Double Feature

Fido (2006)

This was excellent! Very funny alternate 1950s set after The Zombie Wars. If you liked Lassie movies (or didn't like them at all), this is pretty cute. But then it's Billy Connolly as the "tame" zombie, Fido, so it's going to be good, right?

You know I am.

This is the story of a "weird" kid named Timmy (played by K'Sun Ray (no, seriously, that's his name)) with no friends, a dad with a zombie phobia, a mom (Carrie-Anne Moss) with social-climbing anxieties, and their new servant zombie, Fido.

But it's not just cute zombie jokes. There are some just freaking wrong things going on here; most notably, Tim Blake Nelson's relationship with his young female zombie slave, Tammy. Granted, she was kind of hot, for a nasty dead cannibal, but still. That's just not right.

And I just couldn't stop imagining Timmy's dad (played by Dylan Baker of Happiness) explaining to young Timmy why he would never fuck him, just his friends. But he still loves him.

Moving right along...


Battlefield Baseball (2003)

So I thought this would be more serious. Which I know sounds kind of dumb in itself since the film is called Battlefield Baseball, but really. I was expecting something with jokes, but with action and violence more along the lines of Versus, since it was written and directed by that film's co-writer, Yudai Yamaguchi, or at least something more like Kung Fu Hustle (but I guess that's just because that director, Stephen Chow, is responsible for Shaolin Soccer). But this is pretty much a straight on comedy, with zombie undertones and plenty of off-screen violence.

But, with that said, I still laughed a lot. It played with many of the conventions of sports films, especially the whole "Dads and Baseball" meme that apparently can make just about any man but me cry like a baby. It's based on a manga, and most of the acting and effects are exaggerated to match the comic's original presentation.

It's the story of Jubeh, a troubled kid who's sworn never to play baseball again, after his super-pitch blew a hole in his dad, killing him. Now he transfers from school to school, starting fights and creating a reputation for being a troublemaker. In fact, he's a noble baseball warrior and is recruited by his new school's principal to join the baseball team because they are about to play the evil Gedo team, who always kill all of their opponents. That's all I"m going to say about that.

All in all, if you're not looking for lots of zombie gore and violence, but just want a pretty entertaining comedy with unexplained zombie elements, this is one to check out. It was everything that the Piece of Shit That Shall Not Be Named wanted to be. Maybe the Japanese are just funnier than the Germans?

Could be.

Lord Jesu, Yet More Aftermath!

My Reviews: Week of March 28

Dan Dare #5

Scalped, Vol. 1: Indian Country

Woeful Wednesday Double Feature

Italian Double Feature:

City of the Living Dead /Gates of Hell (1980)

Just a few quick comments. Maybe more later. I would have named this film Entrails Vomiting Maggot Storm. I liked that it took place in Dunwich, but jeez, after giving so much time and attention to the New Yorkers, I was expecting them to play a larger part, or any part, in closing the Gates of Hell.



Demons (1985)

We had company last night who had to leave before this finished. If you're reading this, you missed a guy on a motorcycle using a samurai sword to kill demons, while his girl rode behind him. Then a mad dash through a desolate city, chased by demons, while the music of Saxon played.

Awesome.

But only a little.

Terrifying Tuesday Double Feature

Bob Clark Double Feature:

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)

I really wasn't sure what to make of this film as it started. I hated the characters and thought they were way too quick with the insults and the melodramatic speeches. But then I remembered my time as a theater student and suddenly it all was much more believable.

In the film, a group of actors and actresses go to a little island off the coast of Miami in order to dig up a body and perform a magic spell, summoning corpses for their own personal use as servants. Of course nothing comes of their attempts until the final 20 minutes of the film, so if you watch this one, be prepared for a bit of a wait.

It is satisfying, though. Director Bob Clark (of Black Christmas, Porky's, and A Christmas Story fame), does a fine job with creating a mood with very little budget, and the screenplay by Alan Ormsby (writer/director of Deranged, and writer of films like My Bodyguard, Porky's II, and Cat People) is spot on with how theater people interact: meaning, lots of bitchy sniping, a constant barrage of snappy jokes that are only rarely funny, and the occasional breaking into song. It reminded me of why I got out of theater and into English.

By the time the zombies show up, I had actually begun to care about the characters and was really hoping that the pompous ass of a theater director, played by Ormsby, would get eaten alive. Unfortunately, he and the unhinged hippie-chick Anya (played by Ormsby's real-life wife, Anya Ormsby), are the last to survive, before an ending that brought Cronenberg's Shivers to mind. Only without the directorial rooting for the zombies to win.

All in all, this was a pretty good story, with an emphasis on character and manipulation. Alan uses the threat of firing everyone from his acting troupe to keep them in line and doing his bidding. It's a hammy performance, but fit the character. The ending is as bleak as any out there, with the added nice touch of being able to see the Miami skyline as the zombies pile onto a boat, ready to head off to the city.

My favorite line in the film: "I peed my pants," repeated over and over again when appropriate. Excellent timing. Nicely done.

Deathdream / Dead of Night (1972)

The Bob and Alan show continues with their later-that-same-year follow-up, Deathdream, aka Dead of Night, aka Night Walk, etc. etc. This was excellent from start to finish. In this variation on the classic "Monkey's Paw" story, Andy is killed in Viet Nam, but his mother wills him back to life without even realizing it. But suddenly he's home, pale, withdrawn, and harboring serious anger issues.

Most of the cast of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things make appearances here, most notably Anya shows up playing Andy's sister. This is a family with issues, let me tell you. Watch this film and you'll start having serious doubts about all those times your parents told you they loved you and your siblings equally. Here, Adam is definitely mom's favorite, at one point even spilling out her resentment of her daughter for "going to your Father. You haven't come to me since you were five!" Yikes!

And dad (played by John Marley, famous for recieving a horse's head in his bed in The Godfather) apparently pushed Andy to join the military so he wouldn't become a momma's boy. I guess he didn't realize that NOT being a "momma's boy" means stabbing, clawing, and biting people to death and then injecting himself with their blood to maintain his boyish good looks. Hmmm. That does kind of sound like a momma's boy, doesn't it?

Good performances from everyone involved here (especially from Richard Backus, as Andy) are what really make this one special, plus the not-so-subtle criticism of the Viet Nam War. The subtext deals with familial guilt with sending children off to war, and the drug addiction and post-traumatic stress disorders that were fairly commonplace with returning soldiers. When Andy shouts, "I died for you! You owe me this!" before stabbing someone to death and injecting their blood, it's a ballsy and powerful moment.

This film gets special points for being the film debut of Tom Savini's make-up work, even if most of the work was done by Alan Ormsby. How can it be a zombie marathon without Savini's work being included at some point?

Merciless Monday

Dead & Buried (1981)

Dan O'Bannon delivers the goods with this screenplay. This film had three "Oh shit!" moments in the first 12 minutes. Four if you count the sudden appearance of boobies.

So far during this marathon, we've seen a wide variety of zombie types and good range of approaches to the genre. But only 3 or 4 have really stood out as good films beyond their horror categorization. This is one of them. It is now second only to I Walked With a Zombie in our hearts.

If you're looking for plot twists and sneaky surprises, this one has them one after the other. Plus, the dialogue is believable and the characters are likable. Even the bad guys have enough personality to make them interesting characters beyond their questionable deeds. And there are some very questionable deeds.

I really like the fact that this is more of a voudou zombie story than the brain-eater variety, and that there are enough clues scattered throughout the story to allow for the viewer to figure out what's going on at about the same pace that the Sheriff does. In fact, about 10 minutes before the finale, I turned to my girlfriend and said "I know how I'd end this if I were writing it." As it turns out, that's how O'Bannon would have ended the story too. In fact, this was so well put together, that the story moved like clockwork and each new revelation built on what came before and laid perfect groundwork for what came next.

Can you tell I'm trying to talk about this without spoiling anything? It's hard to do since everything is so well crafted. Revealing any specific plot points could ruin others, so I'll just come to conclusion now and say that this was a good one. A very good one.

Plus, not only is it scary, surprising, and very strange (in an EC Comics kind of way), you can play spot the supporting actor, since there are quite a few familiar faces in this one. No one extremely famous, although Freddy Kruger is probably the most recognizable. If you're a Flash Gordon fan, you'll also see someone you should recognize in a pretty important role. Don't blink or you'll miss a Northern Exposure regular.

Resurrection Sunday

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue) (1974)

Aaaah. That's so much better than last night's piece of shit I don't know where to begin.

First, this film takes the time to establish and build the characters before sending them into a zombie nightmare. And there's a slow building up of tension as the film progresses. Characters have believable problems and interactions, and while they may not be the most admirable (in fact, the main character, George, is a bit of a prick at times), you can at least accept that you might run into people like this. You know, if you lived in London back in the very early 70s.

The cinematography is beautiful, and we get very nice shots of the English countryside as our main characters head away from the city and into the isolation that ratchets up the horror a notch or two. There's an ecological message to the film, that is characterized by George and his diatribes against technology. I also liked the conflict between George's beliefs and those of the hard-ass cop, who believes that the country's going into the shitter and what's needed is a "strong hand" to make things better. You know, like in the old days, before all these hippie faggots started spreading their filth.

There is enough art and style in the scene where our heroes are first confronted and trapped by the living dead to block out the memories of last night's piece of shit (the film what will not be named). These creatures are newly dead, and while they lumber along sometimes, they also pounce pretty quickly when they're ready to kill you, tear your guts out, and eat them over your corpse. Your corpse that will then come back to life sometime later and do the same to others, whether a hard-ass old bastard of a cop believes in you or not.

And when the gore starts, it's not overwhelming, but it's definitely disturbing. The guts-ripping is now a standard effect, but it's combined here with shots of the zombies actually pausing to enjoy their meal, munching on organs with vacant stares. It was pretty damn creepy. And when they get to the hospital, later in the film, pity the poor nurse. In what is a disturbingly misogynistic piece of violence, her breast is torn off and consumed, while at the same time, a zombie reaches down her skirt and pulls gory meat out. I can only assume that it grabbed her by the va-jay-jay and yanked everything it could out and up.

!!!!!!

Horrifying and with a nicely ironic, if bleak, ending. This is what a good zombie film should be. Even if there's fun to be had (as in Braindead or Shaun of the Dead), there's still a serious quality to the events. That's what make zombie films such existential classics when they really work. The humor and the horror go hand in hand in absurdist glory.

The Aftermath